He’s been torturing me for days now! This tiny gnome in my head, who’s pulling on a string that is attached to my left eye ball. Sneakily he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is watching. No one is watching. So he pulls again. A bit harder this time. Each time he pulls on the thread, he giggles his evil little laugh. The more pain he causes the more fun he has…
While the gnome is busy behind my eye, my head is just floating mid air attached to two bolt screws. They seem to operate all on their own and simultaneously tease me, turning and turning and slowly tightening the grip on my head with each twist.
I think the gnome invited some friends over to have a little party, but these guys seem to have gotten stuck in my sinuses. Now they are desperately trying to get out through the skin of my forehead. They’re pushing full force in an attempt to explode forward, but so far they have not succeeded. I don’t have high hopes for them.
The other guys who decided to stay in the lung area came up with a fun game called ‘Run & crash’. There are no clear rules and everyone seems to flounder around a bit, but the fanatics are enthusiastically going for the win.
In the meantime, the monthly party, that only us females are invited to, has caught on. These girls know how to party, I’ll tell you that! They are head banging away. I guess this month’s party theme is ‘Grunge’. Not my style, but the ladies seem to be enjoying themselves. They decorated the whole place with colorful flags prior to the party and are now gripping on to everything possible, playfully swinging from side to side. Woohoooo! There’s a reason why my cousin and I call this particular week ‘flag week’.
An older fest started about a week ago, when this kinda crazy eyed nun fed me tap water. Even though I’ve been in Asia for a few months, my stomach is not used to a large intake of this much soiled water in one go. So many different parties going on at the same time, how to keep track and where to go first?!
My bags are all packed for a three-day trek from Kalaw to Inle Lake. I woke up at 5 ish this morning from the sound of large raindrops slamming onto the windows and the wind wooing outside. Oh so nice to be in this warm and cozy bed right now. With all the festivities going on in my body, I oddly enough decide to skip the trek and stay right where I am. Great choice to stay in a room where the temperature is about forty degrees, with no fan or aircon. But… sweating = good! I remind myself.
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Ah right, almost forgot about the final and longer lasting party! Head lice.
Lying here in bed, boiling up and bored out of my mind, I play with my phone and send my mom a text. “Decided to take the train to Inle Lake tomorrow”. Suddenly I feel sad and like a little girl. “I’m done with everything in this moment” I tell her. “All I want is to be at home with you right now.” It would be wonderful if I could just wish myself home for just one day, where it’s cooler and where my mom can take care of my hair with actual chemical western shampoo that will get rid of these pesky little eggs. I should be flattered that they love my hair so much, but I’m not! I just want them to move on already. “It’ll pass and I’ll be fine,” I add, “I just feel like crap right now.”
I’m so very impressed with my mom’s reply. I know that all she wants is for me to be safe and sound. Back in The Netherlands with a steady job, possibly a just as steady boyfriend to start a family with. Instead, she got a daughter that always chases something new and does not do steady. I get bored really quickly and like finding new challenges time and time again. Instead of saying “Come home,” she says, “I hope you feel better soon sweetie! Big hug.”
That’s it! No spending extra time and attention on something that can’t be changed. I just have to accept the situation as it is. It’s my mom’s response that makes me realize that fighting it, is only making it worse. Focusing attention on how crappy I feel and how I’m missing out is too. So I let it go and accept that I won’t be doing the trek. I am here in this really comfortable bed, in this gorgeous little mountain town that makes me feel as if I’m on winter sports in the French Alps. I think to myself. And just like that, all is good in the world again : )
Focusing on everything that is positive in any given situation (however shitty it feels in that moment) and knowing that everything passes will get anyone and everyone back on track. It’s easier to wallow and sulk, sure! At a certain point you can choose to shift that though. When you’re ready and want to. Just take a few breaths, give into feeling crappy and accepting that too. The natural process that then follows is letting go and moving on. Try it some time and see how it feels : )
Have a happy and healthy day!